Have you ever been having a really hard week and your friend tells you "cheer up!" During that moment I am sure you are thinking to yourself, "I'm trying."
Confidence, just like happiness, is not something you can just summon whenever you please. Confidence requires a slow process of dedication and growth. Slow and steady wins the race.
No matter how many motivational or inspirational quotes you read, you can not gain lasting confidence from those posts. You may have a momentary boost of confidence in yourself, that propels you to take action, which is important in it's own right.
Confidence is created in the fire of fear.
If you want to build your confidence, it will not be easy. Building your confidence requires you to step outside your comfort zone.
CONFIDENCE = BIG DREAM OR GOAL + MANAGEABLE ACTIONS OR STEPS + COMMITMENT TO TAKE ACTIONS + FOLLOW THROUGH
No matter if you succeed or "fail" when you are working towards your goal you WILL gain confidence. As you learn from your mistakes, your confidence will grow.
You may have once been overwhelmed by a mistake, but if you use those moments as an opportunity to learn, you end up with newfound knowledge. This knowledge gives you confidence because you can pass the information on, and you now know what not to do.
Just like Thomas Edison said "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work".
Imagine how frustrated Thomas Edison must have been. I am sure there were moments where he doubted his instincts and lacked confidence. Perhaps he even wanted to give up.
When you are able to find the grit to keep going, even when life isn't going your way, that is the breeding ground for confidence to develop.
You no longer require the validation from others, rather you have the confidence from within to keep going.
CONFIDENCE IS A JOURNEY
If you want to build your confidence, you need to let go of quick fixes. Reading personal development books is great, but if you are only digesting the information and not acting on it, you are getting no closer to lasting confidence.
Every single day you have to resolve to live with confidence. It is the small actions, going to the gym, working towards your dream business, cold calling clients, looking for investors, shelling out a large sum to jumpstart your dream that fosters confidence.
SMALL STEPS COMPOUNDED OVER TIME
These small steps may feel like nothing, but they are compounded over time. Each moment you choose confidence in the face of fear, you are one step closer to becoming a more confident version of yourself.
I am sure while reading this you had a few goals come to mind that you haven't had the confidence to tackle. Now is the time.
- Pick a big goal (something that stretches you, but also isn't insanely large)
Ex. Large dream (start my own business)
Realistic baby step (look for investors for my business)
This smaller, tough, but achievable goal, gets you one step closer to your dream. You are not diving straight into the deep end. Instead you are learning how to swim first.
No matter the outcome. Learn from this experience. What would you do differently if you had to do it over? What would you do again if someone asked you for your advice?
No matter who you are, or where you are from, you can choose to live in confidence every single day. This can be exhausting, so make sure you also set aside time in your life for self-care. Seek out environments and people who inspire you to become more and do better. Finding these types of people may require confidence all on it's own if stepping out isn't natural to you.
"You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." - Jim Rohn
So, what is that one simple action you can take every day to build your confidence. It may sound stupid, but it is so easy. TAKE ACTION. Choose confidence, no matter how much fear may be welling up inside of you, take action.
These actions don't need to be monumental. It is often the mundane aspects of life that we build our dream life, or let it pass us by. Simple, small steps daily, over years and years will mold you into the confident individual you desire to become.